Time to re-Focus

forewarning- I didn’t bother to be PC in this post.

First, let’s get this straight.  I am Christian.  I belong to a conservative church.  Am I conservative?  Yes and no.  According to conservatives- more no than yes I am guessing.

I was listening to a radio program (which will remain ‘nameless’) today and the hosts were going on and on about voting about gay marriage.  Marriage should be between a man and a woman you see.

Biblical principles aside, as I have yet to see a completely convincing argument, homosexual marriage is hardly the death knell to the traditional family.  Infidelity and its growing acceptance in society (refer to sites such as Ashley Madison) is far more dangerous than the less than 10% (just throwing a number out here) of the population that happens to be queer and also want to get married.

When current estimates put infidelity rates somewhere between 50 and 85%, I believe that reveals a much larger risk to the traditional family.  Infidelity leaves a footprint on the family that is not easily washed away.  Even many experts do not understand the psychology of an affair- and recovery from affairs.  Infidelity carries it’s damage into the next generation.  I would say that most people on the support forums I have visited were children in a house that was affected by infidelity.  How it plays out usually depends on the gender of the wayward parent and the gender of the child.  I wish I could remember the study I once saw quoted, but I am pretty sure a daughter of a betrayed wife is more likely to also be a betrayed wife.  Also, the son of a cheating father is more likely to cheat.  In my case, P.’s father was a serial adulterer.  I recently learned that his mother likely also cheated, if not on P’s father then on the fiance she had after the divorce.  My mother cheated often.  The three times I know about include the final other man, one of my dad’s friends and one of my mom’s friends…yes, a female.

The legacy can be crippling.  There are also real life “Fatal Attraction” scenarios, some to differing degrees.  If you are tempted to cheat, even if you are not the spouse be aware of the high emotions that run through a betrayed spouse after discovery.  Though I am more prone to self harm, at one point I had a vivid vision of confronting the other woman and stabbing her with a screwdriver.  It scared me, but what about the spouses that it motivates?

In geometry a triangle is the strongest shape.  In love, it usually means at least one person is unbalanced.  You are taking a risk when you create that unbalance.  The papers are littered with any person involved in an affair- the other person, the wayward and the betrayed, snapping and committing a crime.

This brings me back to my point.  If we want to protect the family institution, we should legislate the breaking of a marriage contract.  Infidelity increases the occurrences of STDs (after all, your ‘soul mate’ can’t possibly be ‘unclean’ so why use protection?), children born outside of the marriage, emotional abuse (by its very nature affairs are emotional abuse) and divorce.  When we signed our marriage license, we signed a contract and it should be treated as such.

So please, let’s not focus on the fags.  Leave them alone if you want to preserve the image of family.  Go after the infidels…the cheaters.  Those that help a spouse break their vows.  The companies like AM and the ‘alibi’ company that promote it.  This is a much more insidious issue.  It affects Christian couples as much as anyone else.  There is definite harm…and definite strictures against it in the Bible.

My guess is this is such a shameful topic that nobody wants to touch it.  That and politicians, not known for their fidelity, don’t feel the burning desire to pass such brave legislation.

Though, keeping on the course a wayward is on, one is bound to feel something burning eventually.

Advertisements