Reading this blog

Since the nature of blogs is to have the latest post first, a chronological story like mine does not work well in that format. So begin at “Shortcuts” and then click on the subpage “Part one” from there on to “Part two” and so on. In each page, I have linked the title of each post to the original blog entry.
Thank you for reading, commenting and hopefully taking something away from my experiences. Infidelity is a harmful choice. It can destroy a person, a couple, a whole family…and more.

If you are contemplating an affair, I urge you to read the book “Not Just Friends” by Shirley Glass (her site can be found in my links). Understand that it is a slippery slope from friends to affair partners. Boundaries are slowly broken and justifications made. But the fact is your spouse should come before anyone else. If your marriage is hopeless, you should either seek marriage counseling or divorce. Inviting another person into your marriage is never the answer, it only causes more problems.

If you feel you do not love your spouse at the moment, at least love yourself. Take healthy steps to make your life more tolerable. You are risking STDs, violence and ostracization, depending on the nature of your affair, affair partner and how either betrayed spouse reacts. You could even be risking your job. The respect of your family, your child(ren). While influenced by the drug of your affair partner, it may seem like a small price to pay. But once the secret is out, and reality is right there, you will likely begin to reconsider.

Why not stop before it’s too late? It’s never too late to say no. This is what we tell young women to remember when they are faced with a date rape situation and it’s no less true in your situation. You are never in too deep to get out. But you can always get in deeper.

My thoughts and prayers are with all struggling wayward spouses, betrayed spouses and affair partners. May you find a healthy path in life that brings you more joy than pain. I do not want anyone to live the pain I have, yet I know so many are doing just that every day.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. MinneyMee
    May 26, 2008 @ 14:18:15

    Hi there. I just ran onto your blog. I just started one to get me through my husbands affair he is having with none other than the woman who was my best friend. The woman who I told me secrets to, who was going to raise my child had something happen to me, the woman who told me I deserved better than my husband was giving me.
    It has been 2 1/2 years and I can’t explain it all in this short comment. Feel free to read it on my blog.
    I just want you to know that this site offered me a lot of information and comfort!
    Peace and love………


  2. jemjester
    Jun 02, 2008 @ 20:54:12

    I tried to find your blog but I can’t. Please link me.

    We weren’t that close as friends, but the friendship did develop fast and deeply. A part of me held back, it didn’t feel right to have someone wanting that much from me that soon.

    Gut instincts…they seem to be rarely wrong.

    I’m glad I can help you in any way. Check out my links, especially Surviving Infidelity. It has helped so much to know I am not alone in my struggles.

    Sadly, there is much more to add. I am trying to judge how much. Should I include some of my journal entries? Other blog entries? And there’s today, now. Me recovering from the truth of the first affair and the devastation of a second affair.


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