Opinions please…MIL issues…Reality Check!

Time for yet another reality check.

I am getting to the point where the idea of visiting MIL (mother-in-law) makes me grit my teeth and I am considering just sending MrJJ and the kids from here on out.

I always thought it was odd that she called every week, without fail. But then I told myself, it’s just that my family is crap at keeping in touch (me included- it seems to be a family trait for all but Sis.) The asking what he had to eat that day and things along that line though…kinda “cut the apron strings” already to me.

Add to that her and her family have always made comments about my weight. Once I had lost 20lbs, down to the weight I am now, and I was still called fat. These are NOT tiny women. Even when I lost 65lbs due to the stress in my life in early ’07, I never heard one thing about how different I was compared to the last time they saw me. The difference was so profound that a casual acquaintance who hadn’t seen me in a year didn’t recognize me until I spoke! Yet, no compliments from the ILs. They never hesitate to tell me my ‘hams are thick’ or I look pregnant.

For every thing that MrJJ has done to harm me- physically and emotionally- MIL makes and excuse and admonishes me to be grateful I am not a single mom. She divorced FIL for many of the same issues!

It go worse when we had kids. She resented me breastfeeding. She believes we should leave the kids w/ her for the summer (at 8 and 4yo!) when the 2-3 days we usually stay she just sticks them in front of the tv and feeds them junk food. Yet me being a SAHM and now homeschooling means I don’t socialize the kids enough. Even when I share our very busy schedule w/ her. She didn’t even like the fact we still had Silly Son in a carseat- at 4yo! “Are you going to make him stay in that thing until he’s a teenager?” Well, no, just as long as he fits into a seatbelt and is safe w/out one.

The last straw has been building up. Getting the kids gifts for every tiny holiday, including Mother’s Day but ignoring me- Mother’s Day I did get a small afterthought card w/ some cash. Sent out days after their big box was sent. Then ignoring my birthday completely.

The final straw was the last conversation I had with her- which I posted about here. Basically she accused me of trying to sneak the kids out of the country. Then told me, when I told her of a job offer I got out of the blue, that it was about time I started contributing to the family.

I supported MrJJ and myself from about May ’93 until I quit work less than a week before Chase was born. Most of that penny pinching on minimum wage. Only for the 18mos or less did MrJJ have a steady job. He was and still is a spendthrift. I hold us together.

Am I just letting myself transfer emotions from the marriage onto my MIL? Or would you be upset too?


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