Big Day for my Ego

You may or may not know this, but I don’t have much when it comes to self esteem. For every good thing about me, I have a, “Yeah but…” It can be anything from appearance and attitude to housework and intelligence. It’s one of the things I’ve been working on with my therapist.

To the point.

I was on the phone with our travel agent today. I was going to just do price searching online, figured I’d give a TA a try and was surprised to learn I actually saved money. So I’ve been working with this guy trying to pull together a trip to Jordan in less than three weeks for three people- two of them minors without passports. We’ve spent more time than I would want to on the phone.

Today he was calling me to let me know he was faxing the tickets over to my neighbor (we don’t have a fax). He said, “I want you to think about this while you are on your trip. I think you’re a very smart girl, I’ve been impressed with how you handle things. You could work from home and be our area representative. Think about it.”

Wow. A job offer and I wasn’t even looking.

Then, as I was shopping for a vow renewal dress (I’ll add that as a post script at the bottom), the lady asked me to be very careful to not get my makeup on the dresses. I told her I wasn’t wearing makeup except the long-wear lipstick that usually takes a sand-blaster to get off. She looked somewhat stunned and said, “Then honey, you don’t need to wear any, you look beautiful just like that.”

Why is it when strangers compliment you it seems to sink in more? It can help, but I’ve seen it lead to devastating issues too. Regardless, I feel pretty good today as those are two issues that I often feel lowest about- my looks and intellect.

RE: The vow renewal dress. The one I posted came. Though it had custom measurements, apparently the company believes that your waist measurement should also equal you under the bust measurement. The cummerbund part that goes from the waist to under the bust was all the same. Unfortunately, at some point in that expanse I have ribs. Ribs that are not flexible enough to become my waist. Oh, and it was white instead of ivory. So I had to scramble looking for a new dress. The one I picked today is almost night and day from the other dress. It did what I truly believed wasn’t possible- it made me feel beautiful. Like I tell hubby, I am cute, maybe even pretty but I am not the beautiful type. I almost cried looking in the mirror I was so stunned. It’s being hemmed by my friend- who was also stunned. And thrilled, she had told me to embrace the woman I had become and to not try and look like the young bride from nearly 15yrs ago.

I’ll post pictures as soon as I can, though I don’t get the dress back until Tuesday and we leave Wednesday, so it might not be until I actually have a purpose to wear the dress.


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