The Curtain Opens…a New Day Dawns…

Well, you would think so, right?  We’re still young, just pushing into our mid-20’s.  MrJJ has the job that will open up doors and windows and bring us into the world of fresh air.  We’ve rededicated our lives to each other and Christ.

Yes, the curtain opens.  Sorry and her husband Jerk are out of our lives.  MrJJ is a few states away training for his new job.  But he comes home every chance he gets.  Even through Hurricane Floyd.  His school was evacuated, he was supposed to go west.  He came north to be with me.  Water was riding high over the headlights of my little Dodge Neon.  He still drove on and stayed with me through the aftermath of no drinking water, no power, nothing.

In those early weeks of September, Sorry paged MrJJ’s pager, only I had it.  I wore it in case my friend Olive went into labor.  She had her baby right around that time.  Seeing baby Beauty was the first time I ever had baby fever.  MrJJ and I discussed it and decided to ‘stop preventing’.  We weren’t trying, but we would accept a child if God chose to give one to us.  By Halloween I knew I was pregnant.  I kept it in until MrJJ could come home.

I had obeyed MrJJ and Pastor G.  I did my best to stuff those feelings of pain and mistrust.  It came out with my pregnancy announcement to MrJJ though.

“Are you sure I am the only one you want forever?”

MrJJ was puzzled and defensive, “Of course!”

“Well, too bad, someone else is going to be in our marriage.  A little boy or girl.”

MrJJ was over the moon.  Bought a little moose for the baby.  Started talking names.  He graduated soon after that and began working in VA.  He had to live with relatives and commute until we had a home.  My father-in-law still has many of our possessions from that time, including the boot camp letters.  He says no, but I saw a few the last time we visited his house.  Sorry for the tangent, but I feel enough of my life has been taken between being a military brat and having divorced parents.  He’s just one more on the pile.

MrJJ wanted the best home for his family that he could afford.  I just wanted to be with him.  I gave up driving up there to find a home and left it to him.  We wouldn’t agree anyway.  By December we had a home and were just waiting for all the paperwork to go through.  I had also found a job near MrJJ’s at a federal daycare.  Daycare hours, school teacher pay.  Perfect for our fledgling family.

I spent New Years Eve ’99 babysitting and rubbing my still tiny belly.  I had lost about 30 pounds in the aftermath of the summer of ’99 and was feeling good for the most part.  There was still this nagging sadness, but I did my best to concentrate on the future and pushed it aside.  I talked to MrJJ on the phone, he was working too.  He asked what I was doing, I said I was in bed with a guy, the little boy I was babysitting.  He had been afraid of all the noise.  And so rang in the year Y2K.  This century had to be better than the last, right?

The next day I moved up to live with MrJJ in a motel while we waited for our house.  I began my job and was initiated into the Washington DC mixing bowl traffic.  We did travel back to NC in that first month for a funeral.  MrJJ’s paternal grandfather had died.  Even in her mourning, his grandmother managed to ‘joke’ that MrJJ wasn’t the father of my baby.  I bristled at the implication and could almost see some respect for MrJJ drop away as he said nothing.

We moved into our first home.  It was a sweet little townhouse in the far ‘burbs of DC.  We began nesting and planning our future as a little family with so much promise.  The problem is, you can live in a new house with fresh paint and throw the curtains open to a new day.  But if there’s a body under the rug, it’s eventually going to stink.

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