missing

My guy has left for another three month long stint.  We dropped him off at the airport last night and I couldn’t catch my breath for missing him.

The past couple of weeks have been filled with anger and crying and me just being a general mess.  Given all that has happened with us over the past year or so, I understand it.  More importantly, he understood it.

While he was preparing to leave, he told me of his love for me and the family.  This time, he’s not going into a combat zone.  But he still wanted us to know of his love if something happened.  He looked at me and told me I was beautiful.  That he never wanted to leave me again.  He wants to change his career so he can stay with me, with us.  So he can work closer to home.  Even a commute is too much.

I’ve bee listening to his favorite songs.  Just over a year ago, he identified with Nickleback’s “Savin’ Me”.  He felt it meant time was passing and where was he in his life.  He was searching for what could fill the emptiness.  It nearly destroyed his family.

This year.

This year his favorite song is American Dreams by Casting Crowns.  I’ve included it on my profile playlist.  Here are the lyrics:

All work no play may have made Jack a dull boy
But all work no God has left Jack with a lost soul
But he's moving on full steam
He's chasing the American dream
And he's gonna give his family the finer things

Not this time son I've no time to waste
Maybe tomorrow we'll have time to play
And then he slips into his new BMW
And drives farther and farther and farther away

So He works all day and tries to sleep at night
He says things will get better;
Better in time

And he works and he builds with his own two hands
And he pours all he has in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are comin' crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

His American Dream is beginning to seem
More and more like a nightmare
With every passing day
"Daddy, can you come to my game?"
"Oh Baby, please don't work late."
Another wasted weekend
And they are slipping away

'Cause he works all day and lies awake at night
He tells them things will get better
It'll just take a little more time

He used to say, "Whoever dies with the most toys wins"
But if he loses his soul, what has he gained in the end
I'll take a shack on the rock
Over a castle in the sand
Now he works all day and cries alone at night
It's not getting any better
Looks like he's running out of time
'Cause he worked and he built with his own two hands
And he poured all he had in a castle made with sand
But the wind and the rain are coming crashing in
Time will tell just how long his kingdom stands
His kingdom stands

All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You
All they really wanted was You
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