can’t take it back

That’s the funny thing about the things you say.  Can’t take them back.  For instance, MrJJ’s mom did her weekly Sunday call today.  She mentioned she saw MrJJ’s dad (who has been out of our lives for almost 4yrs).  It brought her into talking about the kind of person he was and I asked why she finally decided to leave him (MrJJ was 4yo).  “Oh, he was drinking too much and was a womanizer.”  Oh, interesting.

Later, when I mentioned that today was our 13th wedding anniversary, she was talking about how so many people were proud we are still together and how young we were when we started dating.  Then she went on about how much MrJJ loved me and we are so good together.  See how he bought me the big house and the BMW…

Oh no, I say, I would have much rather kept the Santa Fe that had eight more years of warranty.That surprised her.  And the house?  No, I would have rather had an old townhouse if it meant P could be home from work in less than an hour.  Your son chose all this, I told her.

Well, he loves you and he did all this for you because he loves you so much.

Really?  I finally break down.  Then why did he cheat again?

Again?  When was the first?

I tell her and tell her about this time.  She’s a social worker so she says she’s going to treat it like I’m her client and keep it between us.  But, she says, MrJJ better not leave me.  Not just for the kids but because I am the best thing for him.  I am a good person who has been with him a lot of years and she’s sure he loves me, he just needs to straighten things out.

I tell you, it felt good even though I know the odds are it will get to MrJJ I told her.  Just all the gushing over THINGS proving his love for me got to me.  She has been under the impression I want things.  No I say, I just want my family.  He’s the one with the extensive wardrobe and spending habits.  I let her know what he spent on Harlot in 3mos.  What she doesn’t know I know is MrJJ borrowed some cash from her during that time to tide us over.  I bet that didn’t stick well, because she was a single mom and knowing that he paid for a girlfriend before his family did NOT sit well with her.  I can say whatever I want about MIL, but family (kids esp.) come first to her.

She’s sending us money for Valentine’s she said,  I want you to go out and treat yourself and have a great day.  And call if you ever need to talk to me.  Suddenly, all of her snide comments over the years and irritating cluelessness don’t seem so bad.  I totally expected her to make excuses for her baby boy like she usually does.  But something tells me young grandkids now trump a full grown son.  Maybe now she will see him as such- a grown man making grown man mistakes.

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