Just Breathe

I thought I was coming to a point with my obsession over the affair. I’ve been reading at a betrayed spouses support board and I see that what I am going through so many other wives have felt. I also started thinking that this reading and reading about what to do, what’s happened to others and so on is making me neglect my children to the affair just like MrJJ did. So I made a resolve.

Then a friend called. All my friends seem concerned that I will continue to allow MrJJ to walk over me, so I was assuring her that I had plans, confidence and expectations. I mentioned our state divorce laws and how the divorce is quicker if the act of adultery happened in the state. It did, I said, Doubletree in the state capitol. Oh- that’s a beautiful hotel she says, right on the water, gorgeous rooms, surrounded on three sides by water. If you go there, you’re meaning to go there.

I knew Doubletree was nicer than say, Motel 6. But to know it’s romantic as she put it…well, that blows a hole a foot wide in MrJJ’s story about it being a spur of the moment thing. Now, with him out of touch and we weren’t supposed to discuss the affair, just us during this time…

I feel like screaming and falling apart but I can’t because I am alone with the kids. I am in for another sleepless night, I just know it.

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