Jazz Hands

I’m sharing this so you all know recovering from the big A issue isn’t always drama.

Here’s a conversation from last night:

Jem: So, it’s 11:30 pm, just the time to start a deep conversation about my feelings and the status of our relationship. I know how you love that.
MrJJ: laughs
Jem: Seriously though, I’m sorry I called her ugly earlier. I shouldn’t have, knowing how you still care for her some. She’s not ugly. Just bland.
MrJJ: And you’re bad, go to sleep. You know, she stuck up for you and she does like you.
Jem: [nicely sarcastic, as opposed to my usual caustic sarcastic] Yeah, she liked me so much she screwed my husband and took his time away so I was on duty with the kids alone for even longer. I suppose it’s the thought that counts.
MrJJ: You’ve got a point.
Jem: So what’d she stick up for me for? We’re talking looks. Did she say it was ok that I let myself go, sitting around the house all day?
MrJJ: getting flustered- Uh, well, no it was about-
Jem: putting him out of his misery Nevermind, it’s not a topic I want to go into now.

Time passes, I listen to my iPod, he reads.

Jem: You know, I think it’s a good sign I can hear nice things about her. I used to hate it. I still don’t like it much, but if I keep walking this path as a Christian, I have to eventually forgive her. So not hating her is the first step. [Pause] But she is bland- like a baked potato with no toppings.
MrJJ: [laughing]
Jem: I hope she has a sparkling personality to make up for it. Jazz Hands!
MrJJ: Huh?
Jem: Does she do Jazz Hands? You know, to sparkle some?
MrJJ: [laughing]
Jem: That’s it, isn’t it. When you were on top of her, all of the sudden Jazz Hands! I’m right huh? You thought, “What the fuck?” Jazz Hands!
MrJJ: [laughing, but looking at me amazed I am joking about this]
Jem: [degenerates into an 8th grade girl, giggling about Jazz Hands and mocking her rival in private because she can’t do it in person.]
MrJJ: I swear you need Valium.
Jem: It just tickled my funny bone.
MrJJ: It is funny, but you need sleep and the kids will wake up.


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