teetertotter

so here i am. i thought i had it all figured out. when MrJJ mentioned divorce a month ago and seemed to be pushing me towards this, i resisted. i was scared.

then i felt rejected when he was so lukewarm about going on. but the more he was inert, the more time i had to think, well, maybe this is the best fucking thing for me. who knows. i’m thinking through options, trying to figure out what i could do to take care of myself and the kids.

he’s worried about keeping the house. who the fuck cares? this is the only relationship i have ever been in and he’s worried about a house? it would serve him right to lose it, moving us all the fuck out here and breaking his promises. or, even better, to have to live in this huge house alone, with nothing but a farting, shitting dog for company.

i told him i’m sick of waiting, i want a choice. he keeps saying wait for a counselor. how fucking long? it’s been a month now! all i want is some answers.

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